Does this open cans? How do I use it, if it is?
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It’s a sharpener for knives. Even though it’s not the best, the knife sharpener works.
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Drawing perpendicular to the handle, you drag the blade through the opening between the discs.
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@Anne That’s right, I knew I had seen one previously.
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@Anne Lovely! I’m grateful. Even though I feel dumb now, I’m glad I asked!
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@Keller Not to worry, dude The only reason I know is that I’m old enough to have experienced multiple generations of ugly kitchen appliances.
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@Keller But in a pinch, it will momentarily improve a bad knife!
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It’s not a can opener, in my opinion. It seems so boring that I would assume it’s a noodle cutter.
I suggest reaching out to the people at r/whatisthisthing. In fifteen minutes, I bet you have an answer.
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@Bailey I appreciate your response. I am happy that I took the risk of trying crowdsourcing knowledge for the first time 
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Stereo speakers. See, there’s two of them. Actually, dome tweeters.